The most confusing blog in the world...

I recognize that you all may be looking forward to my next fun list, sadly it won’t be this post. But I promise, I have another fun blog in the works. I also recognize that people still don’t know what I do every day, or what I have been eating, so I will do that too. Also, can you get plantains in St. John’s? Can someone check that for me please? Otherwise I am going to have a hard crash cutting fried plantains out of my diet cold turkey.

Some of the interns have been posting super deep thoughtful blogs, and that scene isn’t exactly my jam, so I decided to post the inner workings of my thoughts instead. You’re welcome, world. 10 points if anyone can follow along to the below rant.

I got an email a few days ago that has been boggling my mind; the email itself was great but this is what has caused my confusion: “….are you having an authentic Cameroonian experience?”

This question has been riddling me, so I have been reflecting and still have not come to an answer. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

First of all, what is an ‘authentic’ experience? What would make one experience less authentic than another? From my understanding, authenticity is based on truth and honesty of an individual, place, or I suppose in this case, experience. But, everyone has a different truth, so how can my experience based on my truth be inauthentic?

Going into this ‘authentic’ was a word used a lot. But I (think I) have concluded that there is, in fact, no such thing as a broad ‘authentic’ experience.

It’s like this, I am on this Coady internship, living and working abroad. What if my version of getting an authentic cultural experience is doing the same things I would do at home, but here, so I can see the differences (even if those things were super ‘western’ and full of other expats)? What if in those situations I felt comfortable and myself, and therefore was being authentic with everyone I met in those situations (creating authentic relationships, etc.)? What if I did things that someone else deemed culturally authentic, but was so awkward and uncomfortable the whole time I was a big fake to everyone I met? What if then the lack of relationships and interactions slipped me into a DDD (deep dark depression) and I spent all my time in bed watching movies and on facebook? (That would be not an experience at all, that would be me being a lazy lump of a human, but you get the idea)

What if my life at home consists of me driving my own vehicle, drinking venti non- fat no whip extra hot chai tea lattes, going to a country club eating and drinking too much and just putting it on my tab, before getting back to my car and driving back to a house where I live by myself in a gated community? (it doesn’t, obviously, but I would love some starbucks. [clearly the food blog is in my future]). So I came to Cameroon, where the majority of the population doesn’t live like this, and did a similar version of the above activities, would that make my experience inauthentic? What if you remember that my life at home wasn’t the societal average either, would that make my life at home inauthentic, even though it was my truth? I really hope someone out there is following my rant of confusion, because I have been perplexed for days and (evidently) been having trouble expressing it.

Ok, so let’s say for argument sake that yes, I am having an authentic experience, just to make things easier. Let’s say I am following the social averages, I am fluent in pidgin (yeah right, I wish), can sing along to all the Nigerian pop songs, and do everything an ‘average’ Cameroonian my age does. What if I am lying to everyone? Pretend there is a huge part of my life that I don’t tell people because I am a big fake secret keeper, thus making ME inauthentic in all relationships, interactions, and activities. Would that dilute the entirety of my experience because the individual is being inauthentic, and therefore has a tainted truth? If your truth is tainted, then how do you recognize authenticity of your experience, if you’re not being authentic yourself?

I mean, if someone were to come to Canada and be like “I need an authentic Canadian experience” what would you do? Probably the classic “here are the rockies/lake louise, let’s skate on the canal, this is poutine, this is a beaver tail, let’s go to a hockey game, make sure you wear plaid, get a Tim’s double double, eat lobster on the east coast, go to Newfoundland and count moose from the highway (just kidding. Kind of.)” Yes, all of those things are all ‘Canadian’ and great touristy things to do (and let’s be honest here people, I would do terrible things for a big ol’ plate of poutine right now) but are they really ‘authentic’? I mean, I love plaid, and beaver tails but I don’t indulge in them every day; you can’t even get beaver tails in St. John’s. I don’t think anyone eats poutine, beaver tails, and sucks back a hit of Timmy’s every day, because they would have a heart attack and die. Because that is not my truth, and I am Canadian, therefore would that make it an inauthentic experience for someone else? But if it was someone else’s truth, who was Canadian, it would be authentic for me? (I’m not even going to get into regional differences of ‘authentic’ in culture. I will point out, for example, that people don’t get screeched in in Manitoba, and you can’t skate on the canal in New Brunswick, so it is a major thing. Does national authenticity exist? Where are the borders drawn? Regions, provinces, cities, neighbourhoods?)

BOOM. MIND. BLOWN.

I don’t know if any of this can be understood by someone that does not live in the sick and twisted world of my mind. Sorry if all I did was confuse you and have you wonder if I have gone off the deep end (which I might have).

So, my experience, for me, is authentic-ish. I won’t get into it fully, but I will say that I am enjoying it. I basically live in King William, but have started making a really good group of local friends who live mostly around the Tamarac area. I am always the worst dancer at every party, but that is the same as home anyway. I am getting pretty good at understanding basic pidgin, and even am getting better at bartering (though it still isn’t good). I am also fascinated as to how much 50 cent I retained since grade 6/7, because I could rap along pretty well to a few songs the other night.

After a blog post with no questions (lawlin’ at sarcasm) I will leave you with this question to ponder, “if love is the answer, then what is the question?”

All my love,
(a very confused) Maura

PS: Boost your life, see you at Paradise. #WWAT