The most confusing blog in the world...

I recognize that you all may be looking forward to my next fun list, sadly it won’t be this post. But I promise, I have another fun blog in the works. I also recognize that people still don’t know what I do every day, or what I have been eating, so I will do that too. Also, can you get plantains in St. John’s? Can someone check that for me please? Otherwise I am going to have a hard crash cutting fried plantains out of my diet cold turkey.

Some of the interns have been posting super deep thoughtful blogs, and that scene isn’t exactly my jam, so I decided to post the inner workings of my thoughts instead. You’re welcome, world. 10 points if anyone can follow along to the below rant.

I got an email a few days ago that has been boggling my mind; the email itself was great but this is what has caused my confusion: “….are you having an authentic Cameroonian experience?”

This question has been riddling me, so I have been reflecting and still have not come to an answer. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

First of all, what is an ‘authentic’ experience? What would make one experience less authentic than another? From my understanding, authenticity is based on truth and honesty of an individual, place, or I suppose in this case, experience. But, everyone has a different truth, so how can my experience based on my truth be inauthentic?

Going into this ‘authentic’ was a word used a lot. But I (think I) have concluded that there is, in fact, no such thing as a broad ‘authentic’ experience.

It’s like this, I am on this Coady internship, living and working abroad. What if my version of getting an authentic cultural experience is doing the same things I would do at home, but here, so I can see the differences (even if those things were super ‘western’ and full of other expats)? What if in those situations I felt comfortable and myself, and therefore was being authentic with everyone I met in those situations (creating authentic relationships, etc.)? What if I did things that someone else deemed culturally authentic, but was so awkward and uncomfortable the whole time I was a big fake to everyone I met? What if then the lack of relationships and interactions slipped me into a DDD (deep dark depression) and I spent all my time in bed watching movies and on facebook? (That would be not an experience at all, that would be me being a lazy lump of a human, but you get the idea)

What if my life at home consists of me driving my own vehicle, drinking venti non- fat no whip extra hot chai tea lattes, going to a country club eating and drinking too much and just putting it on my tab, before getting back to my car and driving back to a house where I live by myself in a gated community? (it doesn’t, obviously, but I would love some starbucks. [clearly the food blog is in my future]). So I came to Cameroon, where the majority of the population doesn’t live like this, and did a similar version of the above activities, would that make my experience inauthentic? What if you remember that my life at home wasn’t the societal average either, would that make my life at home inauthentic, even though it was my truth? I really hope someone out there is following my rant of confusion, because I have been perplexed for days and (evidently) been having trouble expressing it.

Ok, so let’s say for argument sake that yes, I am having an authentic experience, just to make things easier. Let’s say I am following the social averages, I am fluent in pidgin (yeah right, I wish), can sing along to all the Nigerian pop songs, and do everything an ‘average’ Cameroonian my age does. What if I am lying to everyone? Pretend there is a huge part of my life that I don’t tell people because I am a big fake secret keeper, thus making ME inauthentic in all relationships, interactions, and activities. Would that dilute the entirety of my experience because the individual is being inauthentic, and therefore has a tainted truth? If your truth is tainted, then how do you recognize authenticity of your experience, if you’re not being authentic yourself?

I mean, if someone were to come to Canada and be like “I need an authentic Canadian experience” what would you do? Probably the classic “here are the rockies/lake louise, let’s skate on the canal, this is poutine, this is a beaver tail, let’s go to a hockey game, make sure you wear plaid, get a Tim’s double double, eat lobster on the east coast, go to Newfoundland and count moose from the highway (just kidding. Kind of.)” Yes, all of those things are all ‘Canadian’ and great touristy things to do (and let’s be honest here people, I would do terrible things for a big ol’ plate of poutine right now) but are they really ‘authentic’? I mean, I love plaid, and beaver tails but I don’t indulge in them every day; you can’t even get beaver tails in St. John’s. I don’t think anyone eats poutine, beaver tails, and sucks back a hit of Timmy’s every day, because they would have a heart attack and die. Because that is not my truth, and I am Canadian, therefore would that make it an inauthentic experience for someone else? But if it was someone else’s truth, who was Canadian, it would be authentic for me? (I’m not even going to get into regional differences of ‘authentic’ in culture. I will point out, for example, that people don’t get screeched in in Manitoba, and you can’t skate on the canal in New Brunswick, so it is a major thing. Does national authenticity exist? Where are the borders drawn? Regions, provinces, cities, neighbourhoods?)

BOOM. MIND. BLOWN.

I don’t know if any of this can be understood by someone that does not live in the sick and twisted world of my mind. Sorry if all I did was confuse you and have you wonder if I have gone off the deep end (which I might have).

So, my experience, for me, is authentic-ish. I won’t get into it fully, but I will say that I am enjoying it. I basically live in King William, but have started making a really good group of local friends who live mostly around the Tamarac area. I am always the worst dancer at every party, but that is the same as home anyway. I am getting pretty good at understanding basic pidgin, and even am getting better at bartering (though it still isn’t good). I am also fascinated as to how much 50 cent I retained since grade 6/7, because I could rap along pretty well to a few songs the other night.

After a blog post with no questions (lawlin’ at sarcasm) I will leave you with this question to ponder, “if love is the answer, then what is the question?”

All my love,
(a very confused) Maura

PS: Boost your life, see you at Paradise. #WWAT

Top 25 Things I Have Learned in Cameroon (so far) / Happy Canada Day!

Happy Canada Day! I hope everyone enjoys the fireworks, BBQs, and marshmallows!

Well kids, it’s been a month. A month in regards as to how I would normally measure my time would be, half way through my time at Glenburn, about to get into exams of some sort at X, or about how long it would be since I saw my friends when my life was practically taken over this past year.

For all you other Coady interns, you know that this marks that we are 1/6 of the way through our placement (shout out to all you other honeymooners out there [other than that 24 hour period when I thought it was Saturday but it was really Friday and I am pretty sure I was a realllll treat to deal with all day #realliferagestage]). This marking means that our first impressions piece is due.

For the entertainment of my loved ones, here is a brief summary of stuff I have learned so far. This is not my first impressions piece, but an addendum of sorts.

So, ladies and gentlemen, in no particular order I present you with the ‘top 25 things that I have learned in Cameroon (so far)’

1)      Oranges are green. It still throws me off every single time

2)      Let me tell you about Toyota Corolla’s. Do you remember that commercial that Toyota put out a few years ago that was some outlandish number like 90% of Toyota Corollas sold since 1990 (or something) were still on the road? FACT. They weren’t lying. They are all here, all the cabs and most of the cars are like 1990ish Toyota Corollas. Please also note that in that commercial, they say ‘on the road’ and say nothing of the safety standards of the cars. Don’t worry, I do a safety check before I get into cars here: windshield, steering wheel, tires. If all are present, I am good to go.

3)      Nothing brings the wedding film crew faster than an obvious foreigner trying to dance with locals. (and everyone knows that my dance moves are rough on the best of days.)

4)      You can do a wedding crash crawl, and be told that “you are welcome” at every single one.

5)      I have learned that YOLO is a similar theme across all cultures, though it may be named differently (#LILAC).

6)      Sarcasm. It isn’t a thing here, and when you are sarcastic people are confused and concerned.

7)      You can put anything in an omelette and it will be delicious

8)      Avocados are called pears

9)      The same way that someone from Cameroon is a Cameroonian, if you tell someone you are from Newfoundland, they may ask if you are “Newly-found?” Humorous, though a legitimate question upon reflection.

10)   Along the same lines, when I speak with my Newfoundland accent, it is a form of pidgin.

11)   Always wash your hands after handling money, always.

12)   Being full/not thirsty isn’t allowed. If someone offers you food or drink you take it smile and say thank you, even if you are so full you think death is coming quickly. If you ask for a small amount, your plate will be double the size of everyone else’s.

13)   If you didn’t have to call the welder, your fridge works, and your body isn’t disagreeing with the food, you have nothing to complain about because it isn’t a bad day.

14)   Never wear clean clothes/white to the food market. Everything is fresh from the ground, so it is still covered in dirt, and people will want you to evaluate the product before purchasing. Boots are also essential in the muddy food market.

15)   The coin knows the truth. Always. No matter what. If the coin didn’t predict the future accurately, you didn’t ask the question correctly.

16)   The music here is from junior high/high school. It isn’t uncommon that I am out and start singing along to music and can’t remember the name of the song, or the artist, but I do know all the words and know that I love it. It is like I am living in a beautiful 24/7 high school dance party and it is fantastic.

17)   There is no musical composition on the planet better than “chop my money” by P- Squared fting Akon.

18)   It is hard to tell the difference between a mango and a papaya in the rain when you’re tired and distracted ok?! Mangos are still delicious.

19)   When someone says ‘meat’, they mean beef. Any other kinds of animal or fish protein are called by name.

20)   If someone would like to develop a fear of animals (re: rabies) they should come here, between the wild dogs on the walk to work, garbage chickens and being attacked by rabid goats in the night, my fear of animals is rapidly developing.

21)   When you’re meeting/run into other expats, it is impossible to lose each other, no matter how large the crowd.

22)   The clothes here, I want all of them. I need to find a tailor and just get so many matching outfits made. I want to get a matching pantsuit in shiny turquoise so badly.

23)   There is a lot my roommates wouldn’t do for 100 CFA.

24)   My favorite spice is soya sauce. I recognize it is not actually a spice.

25)   Nothing tests friendship like trying to keep in contact with people from home when communication isn’t always the most reliable. 1000 points to everyone that has kept me up to date on important news articles (ex: Paula Deen, North ‘Nori’ West, and Hal Johnson and Joanne McCloud being on the Amazing Race Canada). Bonus points to David Feehan for hookin’ me with a USB of treats for Ann to bring when she comes.

This list is my truth, but it is also interesting to reflect on how much my life has changed since this time last year. Last Canada Day, I was at Montieth’s sampling local beer before going across the street to the Hanmer Hot Springs on the south island of New Zealand. This Canada day, I am working at an NGO in Bamenda, Cameroon, evaluating budgets, facilitating a session at the Women’s Empowerment Center about self-esteem and body image, and living and working with two girls who I had no idea existed until about 9 weeks ago. Who called this, not me that’s for sure, but it is unreal where a coin flip can lead you.

So, this Canada Day (and day of Beaumont-Hamel Remembrance for all you other Newfoundlanders, 1917 was a rough one for us, google it) I send all my love to you. I send my love particularly to the Coady interns who are not in their Canadian homes on this national holiday, though I’d bet you a dollar you’re all in a new home.

All my love,
Maura