Top 25 Things I Have Learned in Cameroon (so far) / Happy Canada Day!

Happy Canada Day! I hope everyone enjoys the fireworks, BBQs, and marshmallows!

Well kids, it’s been a month. A month in regards as to how I would normally measure my time would be, half way through my time at Glenburn, about to get into exams of some sort at X, or about how long it would be since I saw my friends when my life was practically taken over this past year.

For all you other Coady interns, you know that this marks that we are 1/6 of the way through our placement (shout out to all you other honeymooners out there [other than that 24 hour period when I thought it was Saturday but it was really Friday and I am pretty sure I was a realllll treat to deal with all day #realliferagestage]). This marking means that our first impressions piece is due.

For the entertainment of my loved ones, here is a brief summary of stuff I have learned so far. This is not my first impressions piece, but an addendum of sorts.

So, ladies and gentlemen, in no particular order I present you with the ‘top 25 things that I have learned in Cameroon (so far)’

1)      Oranges are green. It still throws me off every single time

2)      Let me tell you about Toyota Corolla’s. Do you remember that commercial that Toyota put out a few years ago that was some outlandish number like 90% of Toyota Corollas sold since 1990 (or something) were still on the road? FACT. They weren’t lying. They are all here, all the cabs and most of the cars are like 1990ish Toyota Corollas. Please also note that in that commercial, they say ‘on the road’ and say nothing of the safety standards of the cars. Don’t worry, I do a safety check before I get into cars here: windshield, steering wheel, tires. If all are present, I am good to go.

3)      Nothing brings the wedding film crew faster than an obvious foreigner trying to dance with locals. (and everyone knows that my dance moves are rough on the best of days.)

4)      You can do a wedding crash crawl, and be told that “you are welcome” at every single one.

5)      I have learned that YOLO is a similar theme across all cultures, though it may be named differently (#LILAC).

6)      Sarcasm. It isn’t a thing here, and when you are sarcastic people are confused and concerned.

7)      You can put anything in an omelette and it will be delicious

8)      Avocados are called pears

9)      The same way that someone from Cameroon is a Cameroonian, if you tell someone you are from Newfoundland, they may ask if you are “Newly-found?” Humorous, though a legitimate question upon reflection.

10)   Along the same lines, when I speak with my Newfoundland accent, it is a form of pidgin.

11)   Always wash your hands after handling money, always.

12)   Being full/not thirsty isn’t allowed. If someone offers you food or drink you take it smile and say thank you, even if you are so full you think death is coming quickly. If you ask for a small amount, your plate will be double the size of everyone else’s.

13)   If you didn’t have to call the welder, your fridge works, and your body isn’t disagreeing with the food, you have nothing to complain about because it isn’t a bad day.

14)   Never wear clean clothes/white to the food market. Everything is fresh from the ground, so it is still covered in dirt, and people will want you to evaluate the product before purchasing. Boots are also essential in the muddy food market.

15)   The coin knows the truth. Always. No matter what. If the coin didn’t predict the future accurately, you didn’t ask the question correctly.

16)   The music here is from junior high/high school. It isn’t uncommon that I am out and start singing along to music and can’t remember the name of the song, or the artist, but I do know all the words and know that I love it. It is like I am living in a beautiful 24/7 high school dance party and it is fantastic.

17)   There is no musical composition on the planet better than “chop my money” by P- Squared fting Akon.

18)   It is hard to tell the difference between a mango and a papaya in the rain when you’re tired and distracted ok?! Mangos are still delicious.

19)   When someone says ‘meat’, they mean beef. Any other kinds of animal or fish protein are called by name.

20)   If someone would like to develop a fear of animals (re: rabies) they should come here, between the wild dogs on the walk to work, garbage chickens and being attacked by rabid goats in the night, my fear of animals is rapidly developing.

21)   When you’re meeting/run into other expats, it is impossible to lose each other, no matter how large the crowd.

22)   The clothes here, I want all of them. I need to find a tailor and just get so many matching outfits made. I want to get a matching pantsuit in shiny turquoise so badly.

23)   There is a lot my roommates wouldn’t do for 100 CFA.

24)   My favorite spice is soya sauce. I recognize it is not actually a spice.

25)   Nothing tests friendship like trying to keep in contact with people from home when communication isn’t always the most reliable. 1000 points to everyone that has kept me up to date on important news articles (ex: Paula Deen, North ‘Nori’ West, and Hal Johnson and Joanne McCloud being on the Amazing Race Canada). Bonus points to David Feehan for hookin’ me with a USB of treats for Ann to bring when she comes.

This list is my truth, but it is also interesting to reflect on how much my life has changed since this time last year. Last Canada Day, I was at Montieth’s sampling local beer before going across the street to the Hanmer Hot Springs on the south island of New Zealand. This Canada day, I am working at an NGO in Bamenda, Cameroon, evaluating budgets, facilitating a session at the Women’s Empowerment Center about self-esteem and body image, and living and working with two girls who I had no idea existed until about 9 weeks ago. Who called this, not me that’s for sure, but it is unreal where a coin flip can lead you.

So, this Canada Day (and day of Beaumont-Hamel Remembrance for all you other Newfoundlanders, 1917 was a rough one for us, google it) I send all my love to you. I send my love particularly to the Coady interns who are not in their Canadian homes on this national holiday, though I’d bet you a dollar you’re all in a new home.

All my love,
Maura