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The smell of fall. Can you describe it? Words that come to my mind are crisp, fresh, cold, and a little dry. Kind of sounds like I am describing an apple from the freezer where the core is frozen but the flesh hasn’t turned to ice yet, doesn’t it? You try to describe the smell of fall to someone who has never smelled it, it’s a challenge.

The only time I got sad before I left, was on a kitchen floor after indulging in a little late harvest. I wasn’t scared, I didn’t have anxiety; I was going to miss the smell of fall.

I read somewhere that scent has the closest links to memory. Who knows if that’s true or not, but I probably read it on the internet, and everything on the internet is absolutely 100% correct. (I Wikipedia’d that fact too.)

It has been 5 months now. Today, Halloween, is day 153 that I have been a resident of Bamenda, Cameroon. With the smell of fall tickling my memory (via trick or treating, you understand), it made me wonder ‘what else do I miss, and not even know it?’ Well, obviously I can’t answer that question, because I don’t know what I can’t remember to miss, but there are a lot of things that are important to me back in Canada that I just can’t remember. Confusing? Well, I can’t remember fast internet. I was astonished at the speed of the internet in Kribi and Ann had a pretty good chuckle at that considering how slow she found it. I can’t remember the taste of my mom’s partridge berry sauce. I can’t remember the sound of Hogan’s Pond slapping the wharf. I can’t remember the weight of my X-Ring, or my watch, two things I would never dare leave the house without. I can’t even remember the smell of my favourite perfume (and remember, scents are a big deal). The list goes on, but you get the idea.

It has only been 5 months and these thing were a staple in my everyday life and have been, realistically, for years. What am I going to miss about Cameroon? What am I going to not remember to miss about Cameroon? I can describe in an email, or in my (lately neglected) journal, the funny exchange I had or a moment which caused confusion. But, I can’t describe to you the glory that is a Kanjo omelet, and why precisely they have destroyed all Canadian omelets for me, for forever. I can’t journal the smell of the office, or email how my bed here feels. Not everything can be recorded, no matter how many pages of size 11 font I email or videos I record. These things will all only be in my life for 6 months total, how long will it take for me to forget it all? How long will it be until I find myself re-reading emails that I have written and not remembering any of the stories until prompted?

When I get home in December, and find myself at a kitchen table instead of the floor (because I will be 7.5 months older, therefore wiser and classier) what will I miss that will be indescribable to those who surround me?

Well, there is no way to really tell I guess. Luckily, I have kept track of as much as my attention span would allow me to dedicate to documenting something. So, I suppose I will grin and bear it, and hope that I am able to grasp everything that is indescribable as long as I possibly can.

So, Happy Halloween ghosts and gals; enjoy the smell of fall for me. May your heels, and your dignity survive the night. If not, may you drown your sorrows tomorrow in the on sale treats, while staring at a photo of Neil Patrick Harris and his family’s obviously heartwarming costumes.

All my love,
Maura

PS: For those who have not gotten an email from me in a while, I had a slight disagreement with my Hotmail, and then technology in general. Now that those have been sorted, we still do not have internet at work. I promise I still love you, and I am working my way through the list so you will hear from me soon!